August 14/2024

Its been so long since that memory last played in my mind.

The rain bellowed and washed away our worries aggressively.

It carried with it winds that hailed from seas beyond our reach.

Clouds blocked the skies, and dyed the world grey.

We ran underneath an umbrella that was holding on desperately against the fierce winds.

The streets were flooded with rain water.

The rain had doused the ends of our jeans, so I stood in front of you trying to keep you from being drenched.

In the end I hadn't succeeded, both you and me had pools of rainwater swirling in our shoes.

I hold that moment close to my heart.

Amidst the rain, clouds, and winds, when I looked into your eyes, When you held my hand, I knew.

You always asked me to tell you that story, over and over again, like a broken record.

Yet after everything that happened, I never recall it.

Maybe because I don't want to get used to the way I feel when it plays in my head.

Warm like a fire under a chimney, endorphins race through my body, a tiny pit in my diaphragm.

I don't get to feel it as often, now that your not here, so I wont waste any fleeting second not letting myself fully drown in a memory so precious.

You've tainted my ability to connect to others.

Everyone and everything else seems so distasteful

No matter where I go, who I meet, my taste buds only crave one flavour.

You are my forbidden fruit, one that I wish I had never bit if I knew it had such dire consequences.

The same way Eve's naivety doomed her, so will mine.

This shall be our story, our sorrowful dance to a wistful melody.

13 months, 358 days, 9,600 hours and 576,000 minutes.

That's how long its been.

I...

I'm tired.

All these moments, all these experiences, all these connections.

Will never satiate my soul the way you did.

Then again, they wont leave the way you did either.

We both know I cant go on alone, neither of us can.

So maybe the reason as to why that memory doesn't play so often is because it needs to make space for new ones, slowly being pushed to the back until its forgotten.

As terrifying and agonizing as forgetting you sounds, I would prefer it over holding on.

With all the sincerity in my heart, I hope you forget me as well.