Dried Tears

I'm ok

as my shoulders drop

I feel the weight dissipate

my head clears

my hands no longer shiver

why now

suddenly

being alive

being conscious

is ok

when was it not

why was it not

he was always angry

always dissoriented

bad at jokes

couldn't be present in the moment

kept doubting himself

he was

always wishing he hadn't existed

not dead

but didn't exist

how far he's come

the road has been long

his legs must be so tired

I take off my shoes

the blisters on my feet seething

my joints ready to snap

and even so

I'm glad I'm here

because here

both him and I

are ok.